Sparing a Thought for Others: Empathy

I remembered once I was at KFC witnessing a 4-5yrs old displaying empathy. This boy was misbehaving at his table and overturned a packet of French fries onto the floor. The mum instructed a time-out by getting the boy to face the wall. When the staff who was in her 60s came to clean the mess, the mum asked the boy to turn around and looked at the mess he had created. Most importantly, the mum gently lectured the boy about the inconvenience he had caused, not just upsetting his mum but also troubled the granny to clean up his act. The boy took initiative to apologize to the staff and the mum without reminder. This is definitely a successful case whereby the mother had taught the concept of empathy at such young age.

Teaching empathy is the art of understanding another's feeling or situation. Not easy to teach but can be done.

There was another incident that hit me hard when I was waiting for the doctor; a family of 4 came into the clinic few years ago. The daughter, a P2-3 gal in her school uniform with a tie, was playing with her sister who is around 4-5 years old. The nurse came and distributed 2 stickers to the gals. The older gal received the one with a big golden star while the younger child was given a sticker that was filled with multiple, small iridescent stars. The younger gal was making a big fuss about her sticker coz she didn't like it and insisted in having her older sister's one. Instead of giving in to her request, the older gal taught the younger gal to appreciate her gift. She explained the value of the gift and showed her that her sticker was even more beautiful and attractive as compared to her sticker with only one star. I was really taken aback by what this gal has said... This gal at such young age is displaying a strong sense of appreciation for another while inculcating the same value of being grateful in her younger sister. The parent has obviously done a wonderful job in bringing out the best in their kids by instilling and nurturing strong values in their children at a very young age.

Start by sharing stories to your baby today. Choose those with strong moral content.

For example, if you are sharing the story on Goldilocks and the 3 bears. Pause at points where Goldilocks ate up the baby bear's porriage and broke its chair. Use this as entry points to teach your child how baby bear will feel when he knew what happened to his food and chair. Act it out if you can to show your child the expression that is connected to the mood. The tearing, crying, whining... Babies and children learn through play and stories which are best act out.

Constantly expose your child to stories also help build comprehension skills at young age while sharpening their senses at the same time.

For my son, he enjoys stories with animal illustrations like Chicken Licken coz there will be the sly fox hiding away in the background. For older kids, get them to locate the fox. Take this time to question the motive of the fox in the story. This helps expose your child to develop understanding of another's intention which is also training empathy.

Just drop me a question here if you need any more examples, clarification or recommendations of books.

Taming the Shrewd in Your Child

The yelling, screaming and perhaps rolling on the floor are common sights and sounds of a child who is throwing a tantrum since he cannot get what he wants. My boy in his 3.5 years old now havs undergone the terrible twos period. We never spank him coz we do not want to use the cane as the deterrent to stop the act.

However, he does test our limits all the time. In fact, children should continue to do so even when they react adulthood coz we adults too are guilty of testing the patience and tolerance level of others especially our spouses or coworkers

In such a circumstances, the constant discipline and review of the behaviour is required all the time. Every child needs to know the reason for the disciplining session. For e.g. previously my boy liked to swing around the metal pole and threw tantrum in the mrt train during peak periods. This annoyed many passengers who were tired from work. The first time I told him to stop his act. He stopped but continued his mischief shortly. The second time, I reminded him to stop his act but added the consequence of leaving the train despite not reaching our mrt stop yet. He stopped temporarily and repeated the act again. There was no excuse to repeat the offence. We just alighted from the train. My boy was yelling and crying. However, I told him that he ignored all the reminders and he had to pay for the consequencee. Always reinforce the idea that you do what you preach.

Regardless of whether your child can understand the intention of every explanation, get him to acknowledge his wrong behaviour and never to repeat the mistake again. Then you can further add if the wrong behaviour has caused inconvenience to others (e.g. the passengers on the train are annoyed with him after a tired day, we get to our destination late coz we have to do a disciplinary lesson at place that is not the destination etc)

Teach him to empathize at a young age. This is definitely possible at the age of 2years old.

Furniture and Home Ideas for the Growing Needs

Incorporating the child friendly elements in our adult world is no easy feat. Lots of deliberate consideration has to be taken into account when selecting furniture.

My boy playing with a shape puzzle in his Montessori-
inspired room with lots of shelves!

To kickstart learning, the home environment was laid out like a Montessori-inspired classroom. Shoe racks become temporary 3-tier bookshelves that were laid around the perimeter of the room. Everything in his room was kid-size and even the tables and chairs are bought specially to accommodate his growing years from infant to toddler. Educational toys and play toys are placed in trays and basket to facilitate easy handling for the tiny hands.

Visual stimulation in terms of animal printed wall stickers, inspirational banners, flash cards and educational posters can be found in almost any part of the house except for the master bedroom and toilets.

Big anti-slip play mats are laid minimize running accidents from our hyperactive boy. Such mats act as a clear geographical boundary of his personal space, away from our adult space. Anti-slip stool also functions as stable stand in the bathroom for our little one to wash his hands. Those foam hand wash dispenser makes teaching our son easy to master the art of washing his hands.

Materials including art supplies are always made accessible to our boy and books of different genre and the 2 main languages are placed in baskets that are placed around the house. Some of the props such as fireman hat with rain boots, rock star’s sunglasses for role play are made available for dramatization.

Glass and fragile objects should be out of reach for the inquisitive toddlers. Electrical devices with cables should be carefully kept away from them. As the little one may enjoy pressing all the switches in the home, securing the rarely used switches on.

As your child grows older, some of the furniture like shoe rack shelves can be returned to their original uses. Exercise flexibility and creativity when you are redecorating your house to meet the developmental needs of your child. Also keep in mind of your budget as you will always want to maximize the lifespan of the furniture bought to accommodate the different ages of your children.

I always get much inspiration from IKEA and school’s classroom. It doesn’t have to be your child’s school as it can be all around you if you have childcare centre near your home. Take a peek and you will enjoy the sights and sounds of the classroom scenes. Make your home as welcoming and cosy as possible. When my students and friends come over to my home, they always comment the home looks very cosy and inviting. Some even like the kindergarten classroom concept in my home. Have fun and play around with the different ideas. Who knows, yours might just work!

Selection of Preschools- Dos and Don'ts

When we embark on the journey to hunt for preschool, we have quite a couple of checklist.

Our first school which we visited was in orchard. I brought along my parents-in-law, hubby and 18mth old boy along. Everything from the environment to lesson was perfectly fine except distance. Travelling from our home at Sengkang to Orchard is no joke for a 18 mth old baby, let alone feeling secure at the idea of letting him travel on the road via school bus. We dropped off the school because of the journey and safety. Of course, we went back to the school again when my boy turns 2.5 years old as this school was my ideal Montessori school which I have no regrets in sending my boy to.

The next school we visited was a private school that was located in the heartlands. Distance is not the issue anymore. However, my hubby was concerned about the safety measures especially when there were staircases leading to a 3-storey high classroom. For me, I was disappointed that majority of the Montessori learning materials are hidden or kept away from the tiny hands. I have always feel that it is a priviledge for young children to learn through activating as much sense as possible. This school is obviously too concerned about safekeeping their priceless Montessori materials than to stimulate the learning experiences of the children. Based on these 2 criteria on safety and learning environment, we crossed out this school from our list.

Schools that did not pick up my calls or answer my emails are crossed out of my list. Communcation is one of my utmost concerns when it comes to school selection. If a parent needs to contact the school urgently and yet no one picks up a ringing phone, this is definitely a big no-no for me. Furthermore, I’ll be worried sick if there is no one to tend to my call when emergency arises.

There was another school near my neighbourhood which I have permanently erased from my list. The visit proved to be most uncomfortable as I was not allowed to walk around the campus. I could only peek in from the entrance of the office to learn about the learning culture. Furthermore the person-in-charge was conversing with me at the entrance, without offering me a seat. In fact there was no sofa or chair around and I had to stand a solid 30min to learn about the school culture and environment. When some other parents came into the school, there was no one to tend to them so these poor parents had to wait impatiently for my conversation to end with the staff-in-charge. Customer satisfaction is definitely not their priority. The culture is too restrictive for my comfort too. Before this visit, I have contacted the other branches via text messages as requested by the school on their website. Till today I had no response from them. This lack of transparency and communication from the school has sure made me withdraw any plans to place my son in this school.

The  school which we finally settled for was just a 10min walk from my home. Though the school looked old and needed a good renovation, my son was enjoying his trial lesson under the tender, loving care of the playgroup teachers. He was happily navigating himself around the campus and joining in the activities with the existing students. It was then decided that the school is by far the best choice. Being in a cosy, safe and enjoyable environment, we are more rest assured in the school’s competency in offering the best experiences to any child who has yet to embark in their nursery education.  

When our boy turned 2.5 years old, we switched him to the school that was located in Orchard. Our expectations of an early child education had changed from being fun to more academic and lifeskills oriented. That is where our son picked up his language and potty training under the guidance of strict yet dedicated teachers and principal of this school. As parents, we are deeply impressed with the cognitive and holistic development of our child when he attended this school. The weekly communication between the teachers and parents, the semesterly based parent-teacher meeting, the fortnight excursion for the children and authentic Montessori learning environment plus the multiple ethnic groups in this school greatly assured us of a rounded education for our son in his nursery to kindergarten years.

 

As parents when it comes to selecting your child’s preschool, taking the time to visit, tour, observe and ask questions are vital ingredients to ensuring the success of your child’s education. Shortlist schools of your choice and contact them for trial lessons. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. The more you learn about the school, the wiser the decision in selecting the preschool. Remember, there’s never an easy way out if you want quality yet affordable education for your child. All the best hunting!

Selection of Preschool

Preschool hunting like primary school hunting is part and parcel of the parenting woe. Building a strong foundation at a very young age provides a better head start, spearheads a holistical development of a child’s character and most importantly, unlocks his potential be it from cognitive to non-academic, which in turn will develop in him into a champion in any field of his interest.  

Upholding this belief firmly, my husband and I decide to send our boy to a school of substantial quality.  My husband and I have visited numerous childcare centers and Montessori schools in our neighbourhood. We even travelled to Bedok and Orchard to look at authentic Montessori schools. We finally decided on our final two.

At the age of 20^th mth, Issac attended playgroup at a nearby Montessori school. This curriculum is not completely Montessori based. The school incorporate other learning methods to teach their students. For a start, the duration of 3.5 hours was just right. The lesson started off with circle time, physical activity to Montessori time and ended off with lunch. All the parent-teacher conference enabled us to have greater awareness of his learning and development milestones. It was all fun till we realized our son was bored with school and showed little interest in attending his school this year in February 2012. We realized he was assigned to a smaller class whereby the students could not really focus and sit still. The friends, whom he used to hang out with were attending lessons separately. It was sad having to part with the school and playgroup teachers but guess it was time to move on.

On April 2012, Issac boarded the first school bus to Orchard Road for his lesson in his new school. It was a horribly long trip of 1.5 hours ride from Sengkang to Alexandra and finally to Orchard as it was showering heavily that morning. The teacher did a diagnostic test on his language and phonics awareness. There were a lot of songs with movement, stories and hands on session with the Montessori materials. It was a really enriching lesson as the children are constantly occupied in their tasks. The session ends off with a 30min mini-gym lesson with lots of free play and expression. By 12.30pm, all the children were famished and gobbled down their lunch hungarily. What really impressed me is the random seating arrangement of the children from different age group and level? One gal was sharing with me about the day of the week which her birthday fell on. The other children of different level quickly joined in this birthday “day” discussion. My boy got so inspired that he recited “Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday”. I was caught off-guard by his ability to do so. In fact, I was impressed with the students’ ability to generate interest and discussion among different age groups and ability. Nevertheless, the day ended really well for both of us.

He has settled down in his new environment really fast and we are thrilled to see him off in his school bus every morning. When he turned 3 in July, he was promoted to the workgroup which is nursery level. At this age, Issac’s speech development has gained unprecedented pace . He started forming sentences and asking more questions. Even his Mother Tongue, Mandarin, takes a different turn for the better. To me as a parent and teacher, the child’s eagerness to know, learn and ask is the greatest gift of all. Never undermine a child’s potential and ability to absorb information and apply them.

The general guide for choosing school is to physically go and visit the school. Tour around the campus, talk to the staff and teachers, observe the student's enthuasism in the class, get involved by opting a trial class. If the school culture fits your value and beliefs, most probably your hunt will be over soon.

Objectives of Setting Up This Blog

The primary objective is to record the milestones of all the developments in my son’s life. With every step that he takes in his life, we as parents treasure every single moment of being with him. Hopefully, by the time he learns his words and masters a certain degree of comprehension skill; he will appreciate this blog that will send him on a trip down memory lane, enlighting him on parts of his childhood memories from silly to glorious events.

Additionally, this blog serves as a platform for me to share and even discuss ideas and approaches in nurturing the interest and knowledge of our children in learning. Being a parent, somemore a kiasu one with limitations in budget, we are constantly challenged to seek out the most effective yet realistic ways and approaches to enable our children to maximum their potential in learning especially in the academic arena. No matter what, we as parents do want to bring out the best from our children with good intentions.

Issac Chan, My Son

The name Issac was picked my son before he was born. My husband and I do not know the gender of our child during the first 4 months of my pregnancy. We decided to try the name Genevieve and Issac  with our preborn baby and he responded to the name Issac  several  times. We have been calling our baby Issac ever since regardless of the gender.

He arrived at the most unexpected period-my last day of work and the day my hubby contracted high fever during the H1N1 season in 2009. A smooth and quick delivery for me! Our pair of families were in deep shock with the arrival of our premature baby at 37^th weeks. Now he is tall and athletic built for his age of 2 years old. His sport coach refused to believe he is just 2 year +.

Being a jovial and outgoing child, he never fails to win smiles from his grandparents to even our neighbours. Our neighbours like him so much that they even bought him an Ikea arm chair. However, he gets really lonely for being our only child. He enjoys the companion of peers and family members tremendously. He looks forward to his school as there are a lot of music and interaction time with his peers. We never regret our decision to put him in preschool at such early age-20mth old.

Once he turns two, he amazes us with his ability to recite the numbers from 0 to 10. He simply loves singing rhythms in English and Chinese with us.  At his 27^th mth, he starts singing the complete alphabet song and counts his numbers backwards. It is weird that learning can take place at such unprecedented rate for a young child that you will never know what he will surprise us with. His favourite number is 5 as that is one of the digit of our flat unit number. That’s definitely in our checklist of items to bring when we pack his school bag or outing bag.

When he turns three, he is already reciting multiples of two till 10 during one of his playtime. As usual I play our usually game of completing the sentence for each other, in this case Issac has to identify the next consecutive number after hearing the number that I call out each out at random. This set of numbers is restricted to 10. One day, I decided to test if he knows his 11 to 20. Impressively, he was able to gather the momentum of reciting up to 40. He was able to identify the pages randomly picked from his storybooks correctly. That’s where I have decided to put him in abacus class to strengthen his numerical sense.